Damn, I feel to cry

Today is a cloudy and rainy day, just like what my heart does. At morning, I'm so happy to see my son sleep next to me and because I need him to rest more, I slowly woke up and went watching PPS at living room. Not long after, my son walk out and greeted me "Good Morning".

Ahhh, how long I didn't hear this and this was a wonderful breakfast for me. Instead of asking me to change to cartoon programme, he sat quietly and watch the series with me. I really missed this feeling and hope we can do it more often.

I do regret to leave him working abroad because this is the time where he need me so much. When he reaches Standard 6 or above, I doubt he will do the same to me as he will grow up and independent one fine day.

What should I do? Why am I being a weak and emotion man? This could due to my upbringing and I truly understand how it feels like.

I've tried all possible ways to play and spend quality time with him today. I even study ejaan with him. Although some he still not very sure but I still try to joke and encourage him. Not sure if this is correct but I just want to portrait good impression for him.

Evening finally arrive and I had to send my family and have dinner at Pudu but before that I insist to play Command and Conquer with him as this is our all time favourite game :)

After I've had dinner, it's so tough for me to get into my condo as I keep thinking things we have done since yesterday but I told myself to be strong. When I was in taxi, on my way to train station, Shireen called me and told me that my son is so sad and cried because missed me so much. He even asked his mom how to write and spell my name.

At this moment, it was so pain until I forgot how pain should feel it. Also speechless and my eyes was so watery. I really wanted to quit and stay with him but knowing my objective to work in SG, I've no choice but to force myself to do what I suppose to do. I hope he will be fine after few more weeks (same goes to me). His birthday will come soon and I will try my best to spend more quality time with him ...

Train's gate will open soon and will board soon. I will try to calm myself and switch my brain to 'Working' mode. Good night, Kai Meng ...

Btw, I finally able sleep at lower bunk after travel for almost one month and it's actually more spacious and convenient. Hope I can get lower bunk for the remaining of my trips.