KTM-ing to Woodlands

My last trip via train was last May and today mark my second trip with train. Still remember I used to commute every weekend, spend quite a number of festive holidays in the train. Those were the days ...
Ever after the close of Tg Pagar, it no longer the preferred transport for Malaysian working in Singapore as Woodlands is very far from downtown.

While I was packing my stuff, preparing to go KL Sentral, only realised I've printed a wrong ticket and the KTM website is very bad design and unable to track your purchases online even though you need to login before you can book the train ticket. Still a long way to go for KTM.

Called up their operator and they seems to have IVR now and look a bit pro but my impression drop in drain when the rude operator answered my call. Sound like no salary being paid for months and so impatient until need to raise her tone when I need her to repeat what she said due to poor connection. The best thing is, the given reference number was wrong when I went to their counter at KL Sentral to reprint my ticket!

Luckily that customer service help me to trace and printed for me with good customer service.
New experience every time when you travel with KTM. The train was punctual today because by the time I reach the gate around 10:45pm, must of the passengers already boarded. The crowd is so less that the conductor already checked my ticket when they normal check before reaching Kajang station.

The train just passed Tasik Selatan and guess I should hit the bed now. Hope it's going to be a sweet sleep till arrive at JB Sentral. Good night :)

Releasing ... ?

I do understand that the aftermath of the 'decision' that I've made towards my kids and our future relationship and I always believe, no matter what status and where am I, so long my love and care for them are still the same (or even better), they will realise and appreciate it one day. Yeah, one fine day but when? Could it be the day I blow my last breath?

I’ve been trying to accommodate and contribute my love and care whenever I’ve the opportunity but things seem turn out to be bad. I feel, I’m being drawn as an irresponsible father for causing all these just because of selfishness. They don’t really talk or close to me that we used to be and only contact me when they need something. Apart from that, I’m not sure if I stand the same line as their normal friend category, especially when I’m at SG.

We used to Skype but after the ‘decision’, I’ve been trying to call them over phone everyday, hoping to care over the distance and listen if they feel to share with me but … it was a cold static call with regular questions which not last more than 5 mins. I feel maybe they are grown up a little bit and might want to have more space so I called 2-3 times a week but the same situation.

When I got back, they seems have more things to talk and I thought things are still the same and they still close to me but negative things seems slowly afloat to the surface. They started not to tell me if they go some places, sick and didn’t go to school or go back to condo during weekend until I ask or they accidentally told me when I’m at KL. Like my son, he already complaint to his mom that the milk that I made was not tasty without telling me directly. I acknowledged that and make it more richer and I did asked if it’s ok but not long after, his mom complaint me again without understand the story and tai chi by saying “dunno, your son tell me” with a very unpleasant and irresponsible tone.

Today, I’ve found out my son actually created his new FB account where he invited all of his friends and family except me and my dad (he even added my distance cousin too) early on 09-Sep. He did saw me playing our favourite FB game and he didn’t even tell me anything. Maybe he started to afraid and scare me for monitoring his activity and wants to have his own space.

Guess it should be the time for me to release them so that things will get much worst but no matter how, I will not try to buy and spoil them in order to win their heart. Just keep to my own ground and do whatever I could do. What I can do now is to hope they will have all the necessities that will enable them to grow in happy and healthy environment.

Let’s see when is the ‘one day’ will come …

When your kids no longer with ... or need you

When I was traveling back to KL, I feel bad for unable to have a nice dinner with kids on last Sunday and partly I don't want to spoil them and make them realise it take effort to earn a good meal. Also, I wanted to monitor and understand if they behave or even do better compare to the past.

So decided to tell them that I will consider if they did what I've expected and that will be on following Saturday (before I travel back to SG the next day) ... which they did met.

For weekdays, I really have no time and zeus to bring them as they normally finished packing and tuition around 9pm and they need to sleep early as they still need to school the next day. Therefore, weekend is the best choice.

Yesterday, when I was buying my sinful lunch, received a call from Rose's mom telling me that they have organized a steamboat session for today's dinner!? Yes, you heard me ... dinner. I was paused for a while because the long expected dinner from my kids (and myself of course) was ruined and was upset but on second thought, their aunt also being generous and kind to them so I've told her that it should be fine and I will discuss with the kids.

For reasons, my son told me that he don't want to watch Ice Age 4 and then followed by my daughter. I'm not sure what went wrong but they don't seems to like cartoon? Or maybe they are getting boring? Should I just keep quiet in the future until they ask for it?

While I was still moody, I've no choice but to hold and keep calm and told my kids that today they will need to attend as it was their aunt's hospitality to invite them and a lot of preparation need to be done. Also, we can't be selfish that only to join them when I'm not around. I guess they were a bit disappointed and hope they will understand me.

After dropping them at aunt's place, my mood fall like a roller coaster which I already expected since yesterday. Keep thinking and remember things I've done with kids like chatting in the car, visit few regular shops in KLCC while awaiting our table a Chillis and of course the quality moment we have during dinner. Also went pass to those kiddy rides along the walkway which my kids used to play when they were still small. For all these, I'm doing all by myself today, this time and very moment. I hate to suspect the kids rather prefer just to have the nice dinner instead appreciating me as their dad, spending quality time with them.

They are now growing up and expose more to their mom. They don't really as close with me as before the incident and mainly I'm spending more time in SG. It is very lonely and painful to be alone and facing all these by myself but this is fact and it will come sooner or later.

To add pinch of salt, I'm actually writing this blog at a public bench and next to Rock Corner (music store) in KLCC and they are broadcasting those sentimental and oldies song which make my my more down and think a lot of things ... just like flashes of memories.

Now just adjourned to Chillis, alone. Though it's so much easier to get a seat alone by slipping thru the crowd and walk straight to the bar counter. It's just that I'm all by myself now, enjoy the drinks and dinner with my shadow and iPad. Will wait for their phone call to fetch them later ...

Should I ...

Guess my roller coaster cart is currently diving down the slope and so many things take place at the same time, to which I think one of my biggest decision of my life. Sound pathetic or exaggerated? I don't know but that's what I felt at this very moment.

It's an exciting ride thru out and some curves/slopes can be predicted and know how it feel but there is always some blind spot or steep slopes that you missed during the split of second. If you saw it, able to grasp it tightly then you're in control but there are times you just don't want to think so much and just let the ride moving by itself. You trust, work and hope towards your decision but often get misunderstood or thoroughly appreciated.

Guess it's really what goes around comes around ...

A dinner to kill time

Not sure when was the last time I blog and guess I should keep this going on, no matter what happen around me.

Received a last minute conference at 8:30pm regarding planning for my next project. Wanted to skip but can't find a good reason so die die have to attend :(

Wanted to take the call from home but it's at odd hour for me. Also lazy to bring the laptop home as it can be quite heavy. Very importantly, I will be dead meat if my VPN fail me so better take it from office.

Manage to clear my work around 6:30pm and decided to go for a long dinner so that I don't have to force myself grounded in office. The choice ... Saizeriya @ Liang Court.

This place is very popular among student for the cheap and the food isn't too bad. Best thing is the drinks is free flow. For a cheese chicken burger steak with side dish just cost S$6.40 nett. For such restaurant in a mall is consider a good deal to me.

Since there are still plenty of time before the meeting then better eat slowly and enjoying my iPad :)