Releasing ... ?

I do understand that the aftermath of the 'decision' that I've made towards my kids and our future relationship and I always believe, no matter what status and where am I, so long my love and care for them are still the same (or even better), they will realise and appreciate it one day. Yeah, one fine day but when? Could it be the day I blow my last breath?

I’ve been trying to accommodate and contribute my love and care whenever I’ve the opportunity but things seem turn out to be bad. I feel, I’m being drawn as an irresponsible father for causing all these just because of selfishness. They don’t really talk or close to me that we used to be and only contact me when they need something. Apart from that, I’m not sure if I stand the same line as their normal friend category, especially when I’m at SG.

We used to Skype but after the ‘decision’, I’ve been trying to call them over phone everyday, hoping to care over the distance and listen if they feel to share with me but … it was a cold static call with regular questions which not last more than 5 mins. I feel maybe they are grown up a little bit and might want to have more space so I called 2-3 times a week but the same situation.

When I got back, they seems have more things to talk and I thought things are still the same and they still close to me but negative things seems slowly afloat to the surface. They started not to tell me if they go some places, sick and didn’t go to school or go back to condo during weekend until I ask or they accidentally told me when I’m at KL. Like my son, he already complaint to his mom that the milk that I made was not tasty without telling me directly. I acknowledged that and make it more richer and I did asked if it’s ok but not long after, his mom complaint me again without understand the story and tai chi by saying “dunno, your son tell me” with a very unpleasant and irresponsible tone.

Today, I’ve found out my son actually created his new FB account where he invited all of his friends and family except me and my dad (he even added my distance cousin too) early on 09-Sep. He did saw me playing our favourite FB game and he didn’t even tell me anything. Maybe he started to afraid and scare me for monitoring his activity and wants to have his own space.

Guess it should be the time for me to release them so that things will get much worst but no matter how, I will not try to buy and spoil them in order to win their heart. Just keep to my own ground and do whatever I could do. What I can do now is to hope they will have all the necessities that will enable them to grow in happy and healthy environment.

Let’s see when is the ‘one day’ will come …